My husband’s
passing will probably remain my point of reference for a long time to come. I
believe it was purposed for this
particular reason; that I may find the ultimate turning point in my life.
Since his passing I have had to learn to live again. The pain caused by grief
almost wiped out all my memory of life. What remains are just traits that have
little relevance. Which is why rebuilding isn’t an option, but building decorously is.
There are
very valuable lessons that came with Mbu’s death. Not only did it teach me that
life is precious and that it can be lost at any given moment, but also
that I should pursue my purpose and dreams while I still can.
It has also offered me reassurance that I was made for much
greater than the mediocracy that life tried to box me in. I survived a series
of life altering incidents with his death, one after the other – therefore
reaching the other side I was convinced that there’s a great power of faith
embodied in me.
It’s unfortunate that this is quite difficult to explain to
someone who hasn’t faced death itself and survived. For this reason, I have had
to work on my self-esteem because this new me
came with a lot of questions, judgments and ridicule from those who knew the
old meek me.
Isn’t weird that we applaud the likes of Nelson Mandela for
their extraordinary courage, actions and heroism but not if they come from one
us? By one of us I mean ‘one of my
friends, one of my neighbours or one of my siblings’. I quickly found out
that before I could conquer the world, I had to conquer me, my surroundings and
then the world. The fears in me, the stereotype from society and then finally
reach the people I was purposed to serve with my God given gifts.
This is basically breaking the bounds to simply put it,
although the execution of isn’t simple at all. It doesn’t just takes wisdom or
strength, but also a precision season of grace. This is why you can’t miss your
moment. That’s maybe why these turning points begin from extreme turnaround of
circumstances, so it would almost force you to relinquish your ways of life
that have served you well until this point.
