Sometimes Blessings Come in Reverse - Losing To Gain.

Rebuilding my life all over again has to one of my greatest gifts from God. Not only do I get to do things all over again, but it’s the going for my dreams without the fear of losing – because there’s nothing to lose. I think if my approach on life was like this years back, I would have done a lot of things differently but then again, there are specific lessons that were embedded within the journeys I’ve travelled.

I have always known I was created for an audience. I used to think I’d be a singer. I am a better song writer then a singer though; but lately I find myself telling my life story to more and more audiences. The sincerity I get from them in the form of hugs, tears, yes they are mostly in tears and words of encouragement gives me a sense of purpose. I feel such gratitude that my life is being used to touch people to their core - touching and speaking on issues that have been declared as taboo from a point of experience; my experience. I am truly fulfilled.

On that winter midday in July 2017, I thought I wouldn’t make it this far. I battled to visualise my future, all I could see was darkness, but my faith remained, even though I understood nothing and felt only pain ripping through my heart like a volcano does to a mountain. I thought to my self "If this is

the end of me, I am determined and prepared to die holding on it to – my faith". I had just been hit by one last stroke of defeat. It seemed like defeat then, but it actually was a victory in reverse. Had it not happened, I would probably be still fearing the worst, but since the worst has happened, I am grateful and free to start again.

Another thing that is amazing is how value has been redefined and given a new meaning. It’s no longer just materialistic and tangible, but it has become the opposite. The memories of my late husband, my faith, my dreams and my relationship with my kids, family and friends have left me grounded – these are some of the things that stood the test of loss. The loss of my husband was connected to the loss of many other things, both tangible and intangible; my mind was almost lost too.

Having been both there and here, I can assure you that starting over again could be the greatest reward you could ever give yourself.