Begin With Self.

‘Get rid of toxic people and relationships’

My greatest concern with this line is how we choose to hear it. We often choose to hear ‘it’s not me, it’s them’. It’s how, if misinterpreted, can take away the role of accountability. Some of us have been stuck in depressing situations because we never ran short of excuse. My mom did that to me yes, my dad did that to me yes, but how’s my behaviour contributing to me being stuck?

One thing about brokenness and trauma is that it has a dual effect. Firstly it’s the pain it gives off on to you until it takes away your will to try for better. Secondly, it offers so much false comfort that it delays your progress in life.

Please notice though; although years have gone on after your ordeal, you’re still bound because you’re holding on to your very valid excuse. Surely this excuse should have an expiry date because if it doesn’t, then it means you’ll remain stuck for a very long time, if not your whole life.

So how do we get to the expiry date? Well, the expiry date is a date that you choose yourself. How do you choose this date? It’s very simple. You simply choose for how long you want to keep your excuse or when you are going to trade them in for a grueling honesty course.

Unfortunately, changing your thinking patterns takes a long time and results aren’t instant and you know why? It’s because for the first few weeks your biggest challenge will be your mind. Your belief systems have to be changed. You’ll have to replace those quick response excuse for a moment of pause – because these aren’t applicable to the person you’re becoming and the truth is you’ll have to go and find something to replace them with, something that is in line with your goal. So be prepared to invest in this process, because it will need that from you.

Probably one of the first things you’ll notice about yourself is patience. The more you work on yourself, you’ll realise how imperfect you are and how much others have been patient with you. Also comes forgiving, the things that were once excuses used against any confrontation start losing value and you see them for what they truly are – excuses. You’ll feel so proud when you reach this point.

With that being said, another very import thing is the habits that fed the excuses also become exposed; habits like gossiping, self-loathing, depression, anxiety and low sense of worth and you’ll be in need of new healthy ones. So maybe you’ll have to start reading and researching these.

Then comes the ultimate reward. Peace.

Your mind will become like a sanctuary of worth. Your mental capacity will increase in terms of worth because it’s no longer filled with excuses for being stagnant but a harbour of dreams turned into ideas with clear goals. Going for these goals will give you so much satisfaction, therefore inspiring you to go for even greater goals.

And before you know it, you’ll be one happy excuse free person.