It Stops Here.

I don’t know if it’s being naïve or what, but it’s amazing how some adults are oblivious to the fact that a future exists. The decision and actions taken today, whether of good or evil, have a direct impact on this future, especially their future.

They often tend to cry foul when these decisions and actions catches up with them in the future.

Take abusers for instance. When they abuse you, they have it twisted somehow because in their minds they think you letting them abuse you means you’re giving consent, when in fact it’s just a matter of survival.

See, survival isn’t just about stopping the act but it’s doing anything and everything to ensure you live to tell the tale. A great example of this would be when one is being raped. There’s often a question of why didn’t they scream to alert others that they were being attacked etc. but screaming could have in actual fact led to them being killed by their rapist.

So exactly with any other kind of abuse. It’s not just limited to physical abuse but even emotional abuse too – we do whatever we need to in order to survive that particular unfortunate ordeal.

In my situation it meant not talking about the abuse, because talking about it drew more abuse. They were un-confrontable and that led to anxiety attacks, suicidal thoughts and attempts. This led to a war within me. A war between standing up for myself and being passive. So it’s been allowing the stronger one of these two to dictate and for years it’s been passive that has been the chosen dictator in the struggle to survive.

Which brings me to this point, today this has changed. Passive has run its course – successfully so too. Standing up for myself is the new dictator. She come with strength, that allows her to fulfill this role as well as passive did theirs.

So my abusers are having a hard time because for once I am resisting their torment. Their tantrums, manipulation aren’t as effective anymore and this causes them great frustration.

My intentions and conscience are pure and that allows me great sleep at night.