Alignment...

In my talks with young women, I often speak about how important it is to unlearn toxic behaviours when creating a new you.

In my early twenties, I became tired of being a victim of my past and how it was still dictating my life. Yes, I gave no consent for the abuse and torment in my childhood, but now I was a young adult. I had already spent my entire childhood in torment and of which during that time, I had hopes that things will be different once I became an adult; but only to find that it’s not an automatic transition – you work at it.

It was like emotional detox. I was very much filled with emotional toxins that at one point were my very coping traits, but I didn’t need them anymore. Anger, bitterness, self-loathing etc. were my coping skills for a very long time, if not my entire childhood; but they were getting heavier and heavier to bear and when I reached adulthood I felt their reasonable course has run out. Reasonable because I was a child when all this happened, so my excuse for not doing anything about it was valid.

So the decision was made to become a healed Fortunate. And things started to align. But there’s this misconception about alignment that made my healing journey challenging. I thought alignment meant things would voluntarily fall into place – I was oblivious to the fact that I should be willing to move; moving meant leaving these comforts that were my coping traits for all my life for new healthier traits that would support my decision to be healed.

Leaving these comforts meant unlearning them and replacing them with the new values. We tend to take for granted that we have limited mental capacity. So it’s important to constantly self-introspect and get rid of anything that’s holding you back from achieving your goals.

I’ll make a simple example. While I was going the trauma, things like gossip, laziness, blame etc. were the norm. I even hung around people who lived like this too; who just complained about everything and anything. Years went on and were still stagnant, using our troubled pasts as an excuse. So I had to stop hanging around these people because I didn’t want them to contaminate my new vision; sis that was me willing to move in order to allow alignment to happen.

Soon after I realised that I am now thinking less and less about the nonsense I used to spend time talking about with my old ‘friends’. I now had free space in my mind to use for the new Fortunate I was creating. Space for ambition. I was no longer limited to the pain, but my vision grew to new and greater possibilities. I was now meeting new friends who had ambitions similar to mine and I became exposed to new better worlds – alignment.

Thinking straight also became a trait. Before, I was almost always biased and had an excuse for keeping my pain – but now thinking straight made me call myself out whenever I slacked off my goals.

Phew, that’s a lot for one post, I hope this helps.