No Pressure!

I don’t know where this is leading to and I don’t like it. I like having control, or at least an idea of what’s to happen. It helps with anxiety.

I guess this is the chapter of vulnerability. Letting go of control and trusting.

Mr Good morning is amazing. Not only because he’s charming, but he’s becoming more and more an ideal life partner; or maybe he’s always been but it’s only in the process of getting to know him that this I realised.

He is one of the people I send my blog posts to. He’s very encouraging. I like how I can share this part of me with him because it’s a huge part of who I am.

What I find amazing is that we’re not on the “…you’re so hot, oh my goodness” stage. 

We’re on an in depth vulnerability stage. Especially for me. So him still waking me up first thing in the morning after I off loaded something heavy on him the day before means a lot. Really it does. It’s like he’s choosing to choose me all over again, like “I got you” typa thing. Now tell me that’s not more appealing than being told you’re sexy.

At first I wanted him to say he loves me and just take off where Mbu left off. This was understandable for where I was; but unfair on him. He could have ran for the hills; but he kept it cool. He changed the tone from being heavy to let’s get to know each other first. This I so appreciate today because it kinda means he really likes me. First of, me and him have never been intimate sexually. If that isn’t victory sis, I don’t know what is. People are about “what’s in it for me?” they aren’t willing to dig a little deeper, go an extra mile to get to know a person.

Again, he’s not my boyfriend. Like I said, I don’t know where this is leading to, but I am learning so much about myself too in this process. So even if we don’t end up together, whichever way it goes; I’ll be a wiser woman.

No pressure please.