Staycation.

The past weekend was a girl’s weekend for me. Saturday morning I was at an amazing event that was hosted in honour of women and then later that evening I was invited to share with the young women at camp hosted by my church and another church. Although I ended up not sharing with the young women, I however met someone who would soothe my heart over a very long conversation. I think we sat and spoke until 23:30, that’s how amazing the conversation was.

In our conversation we touched on how we women relate to one another, particularly when it comes to offering support to each other, especially with our ever busy lives, we tend to lose track of keeping in contact with our friends.

Personally, I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for the support from my friends, especially female friends. There were times they had to dig into the mud and pull me out. I love how they would just jump in, also sometimes their jumping in was translated as an offense because no matter how challenged we are, we want to have some pride, we want to have some control over our situations – even when were drowning. It is later when everything has calmed down that we realise how their love for us was selfless. They risked being rejected by us, in order to save us.

I am in my thirties and of course the women in my circle are around that age as well, so pride is a default habit. Which is what makes offering and receiving support a dread task. Also because the more we grew older, the more we value and practice privacy – so asking and receiving support on certain issues is a tough experience.

Which is why regular meet ups with the girls is important. This encourages a real bond between us and promotes trust.

A group of friends and I do this at least once a year, we call it a staycation; we spend a weekend with each other. It's not just fun, but it gives a sense of belonging, of reassurance and just good laughter. We’re not all best friends, there’s definitely territories within our group, but these rotate. It’s usually about how one relates to the other during that season. Like at our last meet up, I was closest to a friend who just got divorced and I had just been widowed, although we have our preferred friends, because of this particular season we were both in, we found ourselves drawn to each other because we instantly found ourselves husbandless.

It’s important that I mention this because sometimes anxiety can translate this to others, especially our best friends as a best friend heist. Therefore, it’s up to us to reassure our best friends that we’re still their best friend.

We have another meet up coming up. There’s tension in the group, not sure what’s causing it, it’s been almost a year since we’ve seen each other under one roof and life has been life, maybe our friends have been going through seasons of trails but because we’re busy and possibly proud, we’ve been less frequent in checking up on each other – but the meet up is what we need as a group of friends to reassure each other of the value we each bring to this beautiful friendship of ours.

I hope this piece inspires you and your friends to remind each other of the value of their presence in your life.