Peace still remains my number *emotion-compass. A lot of things
can happen in a short space of time and that often leads to dissatisfaction within
one’s soul. Maybe it’s because of my battle with anxiety, but I need
peace like I need air to breathe.
Peace also goes well with growth. The wind can easily blow
you into the direction of the shortest route to your destiny, but it is ‘peace’
that will pull you right into the long seeming route, but it is the route that will give your soul satisfaction.
It’s a bit hard to change and stay the same at the same
time, because there’s demand for both. Our lives are multi-faceted and there’s
enormous pressure to soar in every one of them. That’s why I need my peace. My peace allows me to sometimes let things
be, if trying to control them will lead to the ruin of the other.
Looking at my former younger self, I notice the loudness. The
unnecessary quest to be in control of all the situations I found myself tangled
in, when I couldn’t even control my own emotions. This often led to spending
hours feeling frustrated and sometimes even worthless.
The older, wiser and calmer me has found solace in deep breathes, meditation, naps and
surrendering it all to God. This I realised after my husband died. The things I
used to fuss about suddenly became not so important. A heart at peace
in every circumstance is the desired goal of every waking day. This is
especially tested when conflicts rise. Therefore I have had to learn to deal with
conflict with firmness without losing the peace within me. It has taken a few
tries, but I think I have nailed it. I know because I no longer throw shade. Yup,
that thing I used to do; very petty.
*(I just made up this
phrase in my mind, I hope it exists and it’s relevant to this context)
No comments:
Post a Comment