Chapter 1 of 12: Unlearning To Learn Anew

For the past couple of days, I've been thinking and speaking a lot about self development; especially because it's a new year and it's such a great time to invest in a new "me".

My biggest goal has been to transition from healing/surviving to living fully; and with good reason because a lot of new good things have been happening in my life. From new roles/appointments, new relationships and new circles of networking, which means reaching a greater audience but also new mentees. Yet I can't help but feel as though I'm half-embracing them, because I'm yet to experience that mental shift I'm yearning for. 

Which could possibly be because I've been anxiety prone, the absence of anxiety leaves me feeling like I'm on bad ground. Yes, anxiety has for the longest time been an indicator of confidence. Weird, I know.

It's no secret that when we're faced with trauma, we develop survival traits and they are incredibly ideal; but how often do we stop to evaluate their necessity in our current seasons, especially seasons of breakthrough? 

For almost all my life, I've struggled with one trauma or another. I'm now in my mid 30s and don't know much about life except to survive.

Do I need to survive in the season I'm in? The answer is no. I'm filled with so much peace than I've ever been in my entire life, yet the thought if letting my gaurd down sends panic alarms and I'm left feeling conflicted. 

My relationship with God is also currently the best than its ever been, yet I feel like I'm not quite there yet, at a space where I embrace the season I'm in fully. Until I realised that the same way I learned the survival traits, I need to learn the "living" traits just the same. So there's some unlearning to do and new learning also. Life is basically a process of deliberate decisions, coupled with action. Although this is sometimes very exhausting, but because of the betterment and quality of life we hope to live, we do it. 

This is why this year is dedicated to self development. I'm a firm believer in the importance of psychotherapy, in order to put in the necessary efforts in order to achieve the desired results. 

So here's to living. Here's to self improvement and self-care. May we live out our wildest dreams with anxiety free hearts and sound minds. 

Happy New Year 🎊🎉