PEACE.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from dealing with anxiety and depression is that only ‘peace’ is the real cure; not shopping or any other distraction. ‘Peace’ isn’t the absence of problems, hurt, guilt or shame; but it is the soothing reassurance that it’s not the end of the world. No matter how bad it is, it’s not the end of the world.

Whenever I get anxious, I search for 'peace' like it’s my last breath, From my personal experience, it’s the reason I haven’t been rushed to hospital because of an anxiety attack. I pull out completely from interaction until my soul locks on ‘peace’.

I have lived and battled anxiety attacks from childhood. It was actually in 2017, while dealing with the grief of losing my husband that I labelled these uncomfortable heart racing episodes as anxiety attacks. Wow, I know. So I guess, my coping strategy has been working – thank God!

What I want to highlight also, is the importance of 'peace'. Being at ‘peace’ leads to a peaceful life, a life of little regrets.

It is Jesus who said He has left us with a spirit of peace – peace that surpasses all understanding. In some situations, understanding won’t be enough and seeking it, might actually be harmful.

Take the passing of my husband for instance. He was young and the kind of cancer he battled with, mostly affected the elderly. To add to the confusion, he was never a smoker.

So in terms of understating, it didn’t make sense, yet it was happening. It was after his passing that I found soothing solace in being at 'peace' and being still. Whenever my mood would switch to questioning and even blaming him for dying on me, I felt mental loss creeping in, not to mention unbearable heart racing palpitations.

Two years (January 2015) before my husband’s passing, I lost my grandfather. The grief was so bad, the doctor told me I’ll join my grandfather if I don’t make peace with his passing. And he was right. With my late husband’s support, I recovered and quickly after making peace with my grandfather’s passing. Exactly two years later (January 2017) I lost again, so somehow I knew I had to be careful not to slip into grief. Exactly how do you even do that? Well. You pray! You let yourself feel and then you mediate on the good. Which is why I blog so much about my beloved late husband. I focus on the good and on the bad, I take only the lessons.

In the end it is only ‘peace’ I want to be left with.